stagnation

I have been hoping that this year would be different, that for once in my life I'd make it an entire week into my year-long adventure through the Bible. But alas, no. Day 6, maybe? ...and here it is, January 16th, and I haven't read in 10 days. I get too frustrated to continue though because I just get distracted beating myself up about my failure.

I actually read that article from Relevant magazine today. (props to self) It has a lot of things that really make me think, and a few others that make me emotional (almost crying here, I suppose you could say). But at the same time, they are good ideas. I think the biggest ones were (other than all being really good ones):
3. Don't Rush Dating and Marriage
11. Don't Get Stuck

More on the first in a few posts... But for now, not getting stuck. I feel like I'm stuck.
I work at Panera
I still haven't acquired my teaching license
I got a degree that gives me a career that I don't know if I really want to pursue
I live in Corvallis... there is no dance in Corvallis
I'm not playing my violin

I'm not moving, I'm not doing anything. I'm stagnating. I work. I make dinner. I watch TV. I Pinterest. Granted, I do the two middle things with my boyfriend. I have a shelf full of books and a list of crafty activities to do, but I'm not doing any of them.

I want to do so much.... become fluent in Spanish, move, go dancing with friends, have friends over frequently, lead a small group, play violin at church, volunteer... go international, dance, orchestra... and generally do crazy adventuring (snowboarding, climbing, biking, road-tripping).

I guess the question becomes: what am I waiting for?
I don't really know. I think part of me is afraid of finances and all the debt I'm holding on to because of the college career I pursued.

I get stuck. I get frustrated. I freak out about doing new things or doing too much, -- I get overwhelmed and... so I do nothing.

How to fix this?
I'm moving (back to my old house, but still, it was better, and I'm hoping it will be better)
I started this blog
I really liked the idea in the article of having a day, once a month to journal, do serious bible studying, relax, have coffee, de-stress. <-- so hopefully with this idea, and moving, and creating a list of adventuring ideas (to be assembled in an easy-access form, yet make it exciting to actually do some of them), hopefully I will stagnate less, get frustrated less, and enjoy life more.

Here we go.